Love Notes

We are grateful for your emotional, financial, and spiritual support Hello Friends:  Time blurs many memories, but I believe I first met Ron Fornier while we were students at the University of Detroit. I can't say we were close, but we shared interests and our careers intersected over the years. So, I was intrigued when I saw that Ron had written a book, " Love That Boy,"  about fatherhood and the challenges of parenting a child with Asperger's syndrome. Having grown up with three cousins impacted by special needs, many of the themes in the book were familiar to me - loving parents, struggling with traditional expectations. Ten years after reading the book, I am blessed to experience shades of this story every day with the residents of Angels' Place.  During Developmental Disabilities Awareness Month, what can we share with YOU that might enlighten or inform? If you are reading this newsletter, you too likely have intimate connections with an individual with speci...

 Hello Angels' Place Friends: It was Holy Thursday when Chief Programs Officer Shelly Phenix called to let me know one of our residents was sick. The phone call was grave. He had an upset stomach, vomited, and aspirated some of the content. Given this new issue, combined with his underlying health issues, the outcome did not look good.  Though I was traveling for the Easter weekend, it was comforting to know that several other Angel's Place staff members were at the hospital ICU with the resident and his family. On Good Friday, I was reminded of the sixth station of the Stations of the Cross: Veronica wipes the face of Jesus.  By offering her veil to Jesus, Veronica eased Jesus' suffering. Her gesture is remembered as a symbol of kindness and courage in the face of adversity. It seemed to me in that moment that this is exactly what our caregivers were doing...what they do every day. And it is especially noteworthy when they do it while our residents are most vulnerable - ...

 Change isn’t easy for any of us. It can be especially taxing on the people we serve. For many individuals diagnosed with intellectual and developmental disabilities, predictability is key to feeling secure and comfortable. A routine offers a sense of control over their environment, which can help reduce feelings of anxiety or stress. Consistent routines also support the development of essential life skills, encourage positive behaviors, and make it easier to manage daily responsibilities. And yet, change is inevitable and sometimes necessary.  As we commemorate Developmental Disabilities Awareness Month, it is worthwhile to share some of the ways we plan for transitions. When change is necessary, we do so with the residents in mind. Change is sometimes necessary Recently, six new residents moved into an Angels’ Place home. Soon, six more will join us. Before they move in, we are deliberate with the assimilation. Change is necessary. With their families, we lean into building ...

 Happy Belated Thanksgiving! We are grateful for all you make possible - every day - at Angels' Place. For some, Thanksgiving, Black Friday, and Cyber Monday are the starter's pistol bang to start spending.  There is some dispute about how the tradition started. Some believe it originated as a pagan custom of feasting, partying, and gift-giving during what is now December. Others believe it is embedded in Christianity through the gifts of the Magi to Jesus. Others believe it was influenced by the life of Nikolaos of Myra, a 4th-century saint who was famed for his fondness of giving people gifts. Regardless of the origin, I've come to appreciate that it is not about the exchange of physical packages, but more about the intended expression of love. In that spirit, we share with you some of the gifts of the women and men of Angels' Place. The Gift of Affection For many of our residents, especially those who have restricted or limited vocal skills, a hug is a primary form o...

Dear Friends of Angels' Place, Our Christmas wishes are that you have time to enjoy your family and that you might have time to reflect on the first Christmas in the context of things you experience today. You might think about the three journeys at the heart of the Christmas story: Mary and Joseph traveling from Nazareth to Bethlehem; the three kings traveling from the East; Mary and Joseph taking Jesus to Egypt to avoid the wrath of Herod. As we think about these journeys, we are grateful for the many journeys you share with our residents. The journeys of Bob, Dan, Diana, and Tara - individuals who moved into an Angels Place home for the first time in the last year. There, they will be cared for, well fed, and lead enriching lives. Because you walk the journey with them, their initial trepidation turns into comfort; their guardian's fear turns into confidence. The journeys of our aging residents who often suffer with challenges that co-occur with intellectual and developmenta...

Annual Gifts Drive Our Day-to-Day Work Last week, we received several heartbreaking calls from dear friends of Angels' Place. Their acquaintance had suddenly passed away in Northern Michigan and were hoping we might consider opening a new home there including the acquaintance's special needs son.  Sadly, before they fully posed their idea, their own words helped them understand that the hands-on, in-person nature of our work - recruiting caregivers, training and mentoring them, managing complex reporting and compliance, working in collaboration with families and healthcare providers, providing resident enrichment activities, managing home maintenance = made the distant location impractical.  We offered two imperfect solutions - add the son to our waitlist for future residential consideration, or leverage our experiences as consultants to create their own version of "Angels' Place" in their area.  Unfortunately, this story is not uncommon. Every week, parents come ...

Hopefully with a smile.  Always with love. Dear Friends: In the last edition of this newsletter, I shared a story about my Dad and some of the lessons he shared with us.  The story struck a chord with many of you, so I hope you will indulge me with another. As my Dad aged, he increasingly needed help with work around the house.  Because he was so kind, he always preceded the request with “I hate to ask, but…”. “I hate to ask, but could you rototill my garden?  I hate to ask, but will you move the swing off the porch? I hate to ask, but will you please trim my hedge?” Fortunately, between my brother and sisters, our families, and the neighbor, most everything was done.  Inevitably, just as the initial task was completed, he’d say “I hate to ask, but before you sit down, could you do one more thing...”   That too would get done.  Usually with a smile.  Always with  love. That cadence is a fond memory – and it feels familiar as we launch th...

If you were at our It’s a Miracle Dinner last year, you will recall our guest speaker, Mitch Albom.  You may also recall some of the stories from his bestselling books that were part of his remarks.  Stories about Morrie Schwartz, Pastor Henry Covington, and others. He spoke about a book he published in 2003, The Five People You Meet in Heaven.  This book is not about the obvious people you hope to meet in heaven.  It is about the people who impacted your life and they didn’t even know it. That storyline has always been important to me as I think about the people who have impacted my life (and maybe didn’t even know it).  It is particularly relevant in the work of Angels’ Place.  So many people.  So much impact.  It really is a miracle. Our residents are certain to meet people like you in heaven when their time on earth ends. Rebekah Harahan recently share a $500,000 gift with Angels’ Place.  Here is a little of the backstory to Rebekah annou...

 Dear Friends: My late dad would be happy. After a lifetime of caring for his Mother and then our family, he was able to retire. One of his favorite post-retirement hobbies was maintaining a good-size vegetable garden in his yard. Some days, he could be found sitting on a small cement bench near his garden, the morning sun warming his back, a glass of tomato juice in hand, and a statue of the Blessed Mother before him. It was his meditation place. He told me: "Tommy, if you don't pray today, you never will...". When we bought the new Hylane Home, the front garden needed a lot of attention, but it echoed the setting of my father's yard. And when the moms and daughters of Orchard Lake St. Mary's offered the proceeds from their brunch to the residents of Angels' Place, a Marian garden seemed to be a providential investment.  As contractors configured the interior, volunteers weeded, and trimmed, and mulched, and watered. Old shrubs were removed, bricks were stack...

Hello Everybody. Yesterday, we held our service for Robert at the Maxwell Home -- you may know, Robert is currently under hospice care.  Program Director Tony Dickerson, led the service.  His words were so beautiful, we thought you might like to read them here. My Dear Friends in Christ, Today we gather together at the Maxwell Home to support and pray for our brother and friend Robert Grant.  Robert has been a resident of the Maxwell home for the 30 years Angels’ Place has been in operation.  In regards to the Maxwell home, it was the first home of the Angels’ Place organization.  For me as a program director, it’s an honor to serve this home because of the legacy surrounding it.  I like to call it the “flagship” of the organization.  It’s not the most modern or fancy of our 21 homes, but it is our first and has stood the test of time.  For example, the United States Navy has advanced ships powered by nuclear power, but the flagship of the fleet i...

 A few weeks ago, we celebrated our team with an Employee Appreciation Day.  The gifts we shared – a sweatshirt, a gift card -- were modest in comparison to the gifts they share with us every day. On Facebook, we often post pictures of our residents smiling; engaging in fun activities – and thanks to our caregivers, they do have good, fulfilling lives. Of course, It wouldn’t be appropriate to share the more challenging moments – but that is the reality of assisting people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. Understanding complex emotional states -- sometimes, when the people you’re trying to help don’t have the words to describe what they need. Managing the complexities of a household with 3, 4, 5, 6 adults -- sometimes arbitrating compromises across those residents and their families. Assisting with personal hygiene and nutrition -- sometimes when the caregiver has their own needs. Our caregivers chose to dedicate their lives in service.  And they do a grea...

Today is a good day at Angels’ Place.  We hope you will celebrate with us. Over the last year, the good people at Blessed Assurance Home Inspections have (at no charge) examined each of the homes Angels’ Place owns – the kind of physical inspection you might contract when you buy a home.  With this information, we have prioritized our maintenance workload and investment. One home needed several major repairs – Pine Center. As we engaged various vendors to estimate the work, it also became apparent that even with a significant investment, the setup of the home would not be ideal to accommodate aging-in-place.  The home has narrow hallways, small bathrooms and bedrooms, etc. This property was donated to Angels’ Place by the Miller Family twenty-eight years ago.  It has served us well.  The neighbors have been kind and helpful.  The ladies love the location and its short walk to the beach on Pine Lake. And so, armed with this information, the board chose to bu...

Dear Friends: On April 1, the newest Angels’ Place home opened.  Imagine the joy for Andy, Carl, Lenny, and Stephen, their families, and everyone associated with Angels’ Place.  We are grateful for the many miracles over the last dozen-plus years that brought us to that day. A month later, on May 2, we were still feeling the glow of this special day. It’s rarely good news when the phone rings on a Monday after 11pm. But that night, in the few seconds it took me to get from the bed to the phone, a thousand things raced through my mind. The call was to share the sad news that Jack Palmer, a resident at our Mahon Home, had died. By the time I arrived at the home in Troy, Jack’s brother Hugh was there.  Through his grief, he shared the important role that Angels’ Place played in his brother’s life for over twenty-five years.  The next day, his sister Sue shared similar sentiments. The caregivers, filled with sorrow themselves, shared stories of the impact the “Chief” had...

When we describe Angels’ Place, we almost always talk about the parents’ worry: “What happens to my child when I’m gone?” We hear a similar concern from the donors and volunteers who created Angels’ Place: “Who is going to take my place?  What are you doing to cultivate the next generation of supporters?” In that spirit, you should know that in the last several weeks alone, the men and women of Angels’ Place have benefitted from the efforts of: Brother Rice Catholic Central Detroit County Day Holy Family Middle School Holy Name Parish Marian High School Notre Dame Prep Orchard Lake St. Mary’s  Our Lady of Refuge Royal Oak Shrine Parish Sacred Heart Seminary Seaholm High School St. Patrick’s Parish University of Detroit Mercy The risk of any list is missing another person or group who makes a difference.  Know that there are many new, next-generation board members, volunteers, and donors in addition to those listed above. Your kindness to Angels’ Place serves as an inspira...

There is a friendly debate about who was the first Angels’ Place resident – Mark or Frank.  One was first on the list, the other was the first to move in. Regardless of who was first at what was then called the Saddlewood Home, they both still live there.  Since then, we have opened nineteen more homes.  Every time it was the answer to many prayers. Today is another blessed day – the new Middlebury Home, our twenty-first home, is now open. The planning began over a dozen years ago.  Today, Stephen, Lenny, Andy, and Carl can settle in.  As you can imagine, the parents are simultaneously anxious and joyous. As we begin Holy Week, we invite you to offer a prayer of thanksgiving for these men, this new home, and everyone who helped make it possible.  Pray too for the families’ peace and for our continued ability to attract and retain high quality caregivers. It is a good day.

 I ask most of my friends, family, and colleagues to call me on my mobile phone – I’m almost certain to always have it with me (regardless of the time or my location).  The portable phone also has the advantage of allowing me to pace and think while talking. One day last week, board member called.  As I paced to the window facing outside my office, I noticed that the tree in the front our building was filled with at least a dozen cardinals.   It was stunning to see all of these beautiful red birds clustered in a single spot.  I had never seen so many in one location. It is sometimes said: When God sends a cardinal, it's a visitor from heaven. Cardinals appear when loved ones are near. When you keep seeing a certain type of bird, it is usually a heaven-sent messenger of love.” As we continued our conversation, I turned to the window on the opposite side of my office.  Out that window, across the room and through the window of the enrichment room, I coul...

 Maybe you’ve experienced the feeling – the butterflies in your stomach before making a speech or doing anything where you are the focus of more than a few people. Our residents felt it as they prepared to take the stage in front of 800 guests at the recent “It’s a Miracle Dinner”.  Katie was particularly nervous; Tim (the consummate showman) suddenly wasn’t so confident. And yet, your standing ovation affirmed their hard work in preparing their two songs for you. You will recall the lyrics of one of their songs: See the sun shining in the window, time to start a new day. Can’t you hear the songbirds signing -- they’re gonna sing out loud and say: It’s a beautiful day for running in the sun, a beautiful day has just begun. A beautiful day to do what I want to do, ah-hah. It’s a beautiful day to be alive. A beautiful day – so glad that I’ve got a beautiful day and I’d like to share it with you. Look around there’s a world of beauty, from the mountains to the sea. There’s a wond...

When we are interviewed by a media outlet, prospective donors, or curious acquaintances, the conversation often turns to the origins of Angels’ Place.  You know the story well — two nurses, one profoundly disabled daughter, then five ladies, then a series of miracles. And here we are, thirty years, twenty homes, and nearly a hundred residents later. The blessings are more than anyone can count. The angel pin is our small way of acknowledging that none of this would be possible without the part you played (and continue to play).  “Jesus the servant teaches us that we serve God truly only when we serve others.  There is no other was to be in His presence.”  Mark 10:45 On behalf of the men and women of Angles’ Place, thank you.  Here’s to the next thirty years of serving others.

As the world wakes up from its COVID fog, we realize that our homes have an abundance of deferred maintenance needs. Roofs, decks, gutters, driveways — and the list goes on. In the last six months we’ve improved our process of identifying issues and prioritizing repairs. We have a long way to go, but we are making progress. Many hands (and specifically-designated contributions) make this possible. Recently, Barbara Urbiel asked Tom Lehrer if he could find a couple volunteers to do some yard maintenance at our Mary Ann Van Elslander Home in Clinton Township. Tom is the nephew of our co-founder Annemarie Lopez and the Public Information Officer for Macomb County Executive Mark Hackel. Tom quickly found two volunteers — himself and Mr. Hackel. They did a great job on the shrubs and weeds and we are grateful. The end of the story is even more beautiful. When the work was done, the four residents — Mark, Marc, John and Frankie — thanked the two “maintenance” guys. Our resident Mark, who is ...

I wish I had the faith of James. A few months ago, we received a call from a prospective donor.  The family was planning to remodel their kitchen and wondered if we wanted their existing, perfectly-good kitchen cabinets and a few appliances. My first impression was – that is a nice gesture (especially since I had recently visited the Holy Family Home and saw their cabinets were in disrepair).  But how will we get the cabinets out of one house and then neatly installed in another?  To this weekend handyman, that sounded like a herculean task. But, the caller who is associated with Faith Works said that their volunteer group might be able to take care of the physical labor – and their team was capable of doing a fine job. My next thought was: what are the chances that those cabinets can be reconfigured into another home?  Slim. A day later, tape measure in hand, I went to the Holy Family Home in West Bloomfield and took some measurements. As always, the four residents ...